I should feel lucky. I have a well paid, part time job which I worked hard to get. It was my ‘dream’ job when I got it, the one I’d always wanted.
I feel like it’s not gone to plan. I don’t like it as much as I thought. I love the families, the people and the going out and about. I don’t like the politics, the budgets, working out finances. I hate the pressure.
I feel like I should feel lucky. Lots of people want work, want to do ‘something else.’ But I don’t. I want to give up work, but can’t afford to and am too scared to rely on benefits for my kids. I would be worried that we won’t afford the basics (food, heat, shoes).
I want a job. But I want something elusive – I want a job I love doing. And there are aspects of my job that I like . But it’s stressful, and I often don’t sleep worrying. And I can’t leave it on a Wednesday – I work 2 nights a week, and worry more.
I feel like I’m lazy for even wanting something more. But I’ve never really liked this job enough – it’s not a job I can do forever. The problem is that I don’t know what else I can do.
Is it ever right to take a pay decrease (a big one) to do a low paid job But a job that I enjoy more? I don’t know.