Tag Archives: babies

My girls..

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My beautiful girls,

This week has been a bit difficult for mummy. I’m sorry if I haven’t been all that I should have been this week. I haven’t felt like going anywhere or doing much – I feel guilty about it, but that’s just how it is. Work has been busy, and it’s been on my mind even in the time when I haven’t been there. I, sorry, I’ll be better this week. Just know that no matter what happens, you two and your daddy are what get me through. I love you as much as everything in the whole wide world – I wouldn’t be me without the three of you to make me whole.

Amelia, this week you went to see your ‘big school’ with nannie Elaine. Apparently you loved it – you wrote your name very clearly, and you enjoyed meeting your new teacher. I think you are going to settle in nicely there. I’ve seen huge leaps in your writing lately too – you are writing your name clearly now, and are having a go at other words too. It’s lovely to see your confidence increasing.

You have got it in your mind to run a campaign about dropping rubbish too. 4 and a half years old, and you have had us making posters about not dropping rubbish, which you want to stick to trees. You are a natural leader – I often think of you as bossy, but it’s more that you have clear ideas and are confident at how to achieve them. I’ve added a picture of our posters below.

Today we have been to a windmill. You loved it! You made a friend, an older little girl who you were playing hide and seek with. Then another 2 children joined in – I had to play too of course, to make sure you understood and were safe. You were fine though, you had them playing ‘freeze tag’ (a game you invented) and were running about and laughing lots. Then we went on a little train and you absolutely loved it – laughed all the way round.

Rosie, you have been a little star this week as always. You too loved the little train – daddy was holding you, and you smiled round the track. You are so vocal now – you say ‘teddy’ in your own way, but it is clear. And you play peek a boo with whatever you can get hold of – it’s very sweet to see you learning. You met your cousins this week from austrailia, and were surprisingly shy. You wouldn’t go anywhere near them, and clung to me and your nana and grandad throughout. You also have a thing about shoes – you like carrying Amelia’s shoes about and losing them, or taking your own off and carrying them around, like baby ET.

And you love birds. You look out of the window and squeal, shout and babble to the birds. I love watching you!

I love you two girls – you are my world.

Xxxx

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The ordinary moments – discovering ‘baba’

When Amelia was one she got babies for her birthday. She loved them – said ‘aww’ to them and loved kissing them, and hitting them and dragging them everywhere.

Rosie has just discovered Amelia’s old babas. She’s a little later to figure them out, but now she loves going to stand up to look into the pram, dragging one out, and kissing, eating, cuddling and patting it on the back / hitting it. She loves the babas at the moment, and it really reminds me of her sister at the same age.

The baba is old, has no clothes, and is a scruffy neglected little thing. But Rosie doesn’t care about that, she is learning about cuddles, kisses, love and kindness – In her own baby way of course.

So this is my ordinary moment for this week – I couldn’t get any decent photos because – well, it’s hard to get a baby to pose with a doll! But I just clicked a couple, and although they are most definatly not masterpieces, I do love them because of what they represent to me.

If you want to join in with the ordinary moments, go to http://www.mummydaddyandmemakesthree.co.uk and join in 🙂

Xxxx

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When children don’t sleep.

Last night Rosie was a nightmare. She decided that sleep is for wimps, and that she wasn’t going to sleep. So all night pretty much she cried and screamed. It was awful – it’s the first awful night we have had In a while, and it’s just so frustrating when nothing works.

I don’t like having the girls in bed with us much (not enough room!) but with Rosie it doesn’t work anyway – when she does come in in the morning, she gets excited, wants to climb everywhere and play. She never sleeps. So that’s not really an option to get her to sleep.

The way she does settle is if we sit next to the cot. But only as long as we are in the room. Within minutes of getting back in bed, she realises we have gone and screams again.

Crying it out doesn’t work. Last night is the first time we’ve done it, out of desperation, but she just cries and cries, and never stops. I went in every 5 minutes, laid her down and said night night then went out, but it didn’t work. Two hours in, it was obvious that it wouldn’t work.

It is a nightmare when babies won’t sleep. I don’t function well without sleep. I’m at work this afternoon, and don’t want to go, I’m tired and fluffy, and grumpy today.

And Rosie has now gone to sleep finally – but I have to wake her in ten minutes (after only 20minutes sleep) to go to pick Amelia . She’s with her grandparents this afternoon, and no doubt she will be tired and grumpy. I feel like a bad parent for leaving her now.

Being a parent is so difficult some days.

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Ordinary moments – fake coughs

My baby is funny. She’s a quirky little thing, and in the past month her personality has started to emerge – shes developing little traits that are unique to her, and it’s lovely.

This week she’s learnt to laugh. But it isn’t as laugh as babies usually do – she fake coughs. She gets excited about something (usually being on her feet, or seeing us after her nap) and starts fake coughing in place of laughing.

I really love it – I can’t capture it with a photo, so I, afraid I can’t share it (I don’t know why but I don’t feel comfortable with sharing videos!) but I wanted to share anyway because I never want to forget this.

I’m back at work tomorrow -2.5 days a week, so we will have to find a new ordinary from tomorrow – I’m feeling a lot of feelings today – nerves etc. Mostly though I’ve been looking back on the past 11 months. I feel glad and lucky that I’ve had this time with my girls, and glad that we’ve enjoyed it. But I also feel a bit regretful that there have been days when I’ve found it hard, times when I’ve lost my temper, and times when I’ve felt upset. I wish I hadn’t, but I can’t go back now. I’ve loved every minute of being at home, even when it isn’t easy. I hope my girls know that, and know how much I love them.

If you want to join in with the ordinary moments you can join in at mummydaddyme – it’s all about capturing the ordinary moments in a week, and is my favourite Linky to join in with as I get to write about the ordinary moments that are the ones I want to remember as time goes by.

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The ordinary moments – smiles.

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It’s such an ordinary thing. Baby smiles. But this is something I know ill never forget. I may not remember every smile Rosie has ever given me, but for my whole life ill never forget my smiling newborn, and my happy baby. Ill never forget how naturally smiling comes for her. I’ll never forget how she brightens up my day with just one cheeky, eye crinkling, chubby cheeked grin.

You see, my oldest girl was different. She smiled of course, but she wasn’t a natural smiler. Her smiles as a baby were like a reward – you had to work to get one, and smiling at strangers (or even non strangers!) was often out of the question. At times i wished she would be smiley, but this just wasn’t part of her personality. Rosie on the other hand smiles all the time, easily. She smiles at the other parents during the school run, smiles at strangers, and basically at anyone. It’s still a novelty for me, this smiler of mine. And I enjoy this part of her personality so much – the world is just such a bright, happy place for her, and her smiles make my day bright too.

As always, I have joined in with mummydaddyme, the ordinary moments, to capture the ordinary moments which are the ones I will always want to remember.
Xxx

Feel Good Friday…

Before Christmas I was doing ‘grateful Friday.’ I stopped at Christmas, but I’ve decided to reintroduce it, as I love being able to look back on each week, and focus on the good things that have happened. Doing this on a Friday means that I can then look forward and have a good feeling going into the weekend.

So, to start off, these are my positives of the last week:

1. I’ve applied for a job promotion at work. Now, I’m not entirely sure If this is the best idea I’ve ever had – I return to work in March, and a promotion post came up which I found out about last week. I’m a social worker with older adults At the minute. The post is for a dementia manager, which focuses on supporting adults with dementia to remain at home for longer. It’s also about shaping policy, and taking on more responsibility for supervision etc. Anyway, long story short, I submitted my application form, and I’ve just been told that I am the only applicant and that my application form was good so will have an interview. This is good, but I’ve had butterflies ever since, and I know ill be so nervous until the interview is over with – I hate them. However, this is still positive as I think I will enioy the new job role if I get it.

2. I took Amelia and Rosie swimming again with Craig’s mum. I took Rosie for the first time last week. We went to ‘fun pool’ with a pirate ship, both girls loved it there. Rosie is a natural water baby, she was splashing and kicking her legs. She just loves the water. And Amelia has gained so much confidence since starting swimming lessons last summer. She loves the water too now, and she made a friend In the water (a little girl) and she went down the slide a few times. It was fun, and we went to the cafe afterwards and I treated Amelia to a cookie.

3. I also took the girls to soft play by myself for the first time since having Rosie. It was okay – Rosie was smiling and laughing at the other babies in the ball pool, and Amelia was absolutely fine going off by herself, and she just kept popping back to us every now and again. I will have to try to do this again next week!

4. Progress is being made on creating storage in the attic. This has been a longer project that I thought, as we had to move the hatch to our room, make it bigger, and clear, insulate and board out the attic. This is because we just don’t have space for everything. Since Rosie came along we have nowhere to put all of Craig’s stuff – he loves his computer stuff. But, the hatch is now almost finished, we are over half way there. A couple of weeks and it should be finished I reckon 🙂

5. My healthy eating and exercise has gone pretty well this week. Not perfect (is anything?!) but overall I’ve been healthy loads more than unhealthy, and my eating habits have been pretty good overall. I don’t expect a big loss tomorrow as I have slipped up a few times but if there’s a slight loss or no change ill be happy this week. And I’m at the gym tomorrow again,p. I love going to the gym!

These are my positives for this week.
Xxx

I don’t feel the breastfeeding bond…

This is kind of my guilty secret I guess. My baby is now 8 months old, and is exclusively breastfeed. She has been since being born, and has never had formula milk.

However, I don’t breastfeed because I feel the magical bond I’ve heard so many others talk about. If anything, I don’t like it very much. She pulls and tugs, I don’t like to feed her when others are around, if leaving her I have to plan around her feeds and..well, I just am not that keen on breastfeeding.

I’ll continue to a year now. I did search about how to wean to formula when she reached 6 months but couldn’t find any information (maybe I searched the wrong thing.) if I’d really wanted to, I’d have stopped. But guilt made me continue feeding her. And I’m glad I still feed her, even though I don’t like it much. Because its best for her, because she’s happy and healthy and wonderful.

I wish I felt the special feeling that others describe. When I look at her feeding I don’t feel much at all if i’m honest – it’s a task rather than a pleasure. Maybe this is because I had the most awful beginning – I felt like crying at every feed, not wanting to continue but forcing myself through the pain. Then there was poor attachment (this may have been imagined, but it never felt ‘right.’) I don’t know really.

I love my baby with everything I am. I love both my girls so so much, they mean the world to me and make me so happy, so fulfilled and I’m proud to be their mum. But breastfeeding for me is not special, or wonderful, or any of those other things. It’s something I did because I wanted the best for my baby, and because I had a (completely irrational) fear that giving her formula would somehow give her life long health problems.

I look forward to the day when I don’t have to breastfeed anymore. When my body is back to normal. Is this selfish? Probably. Will my feeling change? I doubt it. I’ve been waiting for special feelings for 8 months now. If they haven’t happened so far, I don’t think they will.

Xxx

What My 8 month old would love to say…

Dear Mummy and Daddy,

You are both so silly. How could you possibly have Imagined that I would be more interested in all these lovely baby toys that I got for Xmas? My baby phone? rubbish. My teething keys? Boring. No Mummy, what I am actually interested in is real stuff (like your real phone – I love to dribble all over and chew that.) and crumbs. Crumbs are good, I can spot one a mile away, and I make it my mission to get to it. I don’t mind that its right across the room, as I can commando crawl there now – it might take me a while but I can (and will) get to it. Stop watching me so closely, because you keep taking the fun things away right before I get to them. That is really naughty Mummy.

Mummy and Daddy, I don’t ask for much. I look at you trying really hard to interest me (yet again) in the ‘my first doll’ that you so lovingly picked out for me, and were so excited to give me thinking that I’d love it. I feel a bit bad so I do try to give it a bit of interest. But when you give me the choice, I will always choose the thing I’m not allowed. Like amelias tiny play mobil pieces, or puzzle pieces, or barbie dolls with long hair.) You see, you can’t fool me into thinking that these baby toys are really fun. They’re not as fun as these other things and we all know it.

So instead of continuing to give me these toys, I have a suggestion. I am happy to swap all of my toys with Amelia’s big girl toys. I promise that I’m old enough to use them, and they taste so much better than my own. And Amelia so obviously likes playing with my toys (especially my singing teapot and cups) so it is the perfect swap. Please mummy?

Love,
Rosie.

Silent Sunday

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