Tag Archives: birthday


It’s my birthday today. I am now 31 years old. I kind of feel that it should bother me a bit, but it doesn’t. All I really feel is lucky; I have a lovely family, lovely friends and a home I feel is my forever home; it still needs endless work, but it’s ours and we will get it done. 

So, I guess that all I want from this year is to stay lucky. To try to rush as little as possible. And to feel comfortable in my own skin.

I’ve been loved today. Amelia woke up at 6.30 because she was excited about it being my birthday. We (they) opened my cards and gifts. Amelia read out her ‘speech’ which she had written: 

       ‘The only star tonight in the dark sky tonight.’ 

This filled a full page when Amelia wrote it. I think her speech means something along the lines of loving me as much as the brightest star. That’s how I’ve interpreted it anyway 🙂 

And we went for a walk around the country park in Cleethorpes. I like getting out most of all; I am just realising how much it matters to me and to the girls. 

We came home, had dinner together. Rosie made us all laugh lots, as always. She called Craig a ‘stupid bum’ which made me smile. Just everything she says I wish I could capture because it’s so lovely in a way I can’t begin to explain. 

This afternoon we had visitors. Zara came with her kids to drop off my presents (a candle burner thing which is really pretty, tea light candles and a drainer for the sink (don’t ask!). She stayed for a while and then my in laws came – we caught up with them, which I always enjoy – they are wonderful. Then they went and Sarah and my Mum came for a while.

Then we had tea (steak for me, pizza for the others), and birthday cake. And spoke to Abi on FaceTime. 

Overall, it’s been a good day, and it’s been a good year. I’ve been spoilt too – this is what I got:

Craig got me a bottle of cava, and £25 amazon voucher.

The girls got me Lindor chocolates and a book which Amelia picked. 

Mum gave me money, but they also paid for us to go for drinks last weekend. 

Sarah and Lydia got me 2 CDs (Lucas graham and 21 pilots) some rasberry ripple bath creme and a book.

Elaine got me a Yankee set and money.

Abi got me a white company ‘white pompermo’ candle. It smells beautiful. 

I’m now in my pajamas listening to my new cd. And thinking about what to buy with all my birthday money! 



Amelia was 6 on Tuesday. I kept thinking about it all day – the day 6 whole years ago when she was born. The newness of the experience, the strangeness of it. The pain, that you know is coming but can never prepare for. The amazement of holding my baby in my arms for the first time. The relief at her being healthy. The relief of the pain ending. I said to Craig when we were alone (the first thing I said to him!) that I am never going through it again. I did, of course, but at the time I didn’t even know how I had got through it.

The first 6 days were a bubble. We spent them in the maternity home, and it was like being there protected us from reality. I was desperate to leave, and yet needed the safety and security of having people there to advice, help and reassure. Like the night I spent up with Amelia all night, and the nurse popped in and said I was doing a fantastic job. 

I know it’s all a cliche, but I don’t know how time has moved so fast. 6 years ago I had a tiny baby. Now I have a little girl. A girl who is independent, stubborn, clever. Who talks about the sun being made of gas, and the rings of Saturn being made of ice and rock (she loves planets). A girl who plays barbi’s, but gets ‘nervous’ if we are watching her play – she likes to play them on her own. A girl who will argue forever when she thinks she is right, who takes everything literally. Who got 10/10 today in her spelling test. A girl who is unique, and wonderful.

Amelia said she had the ‘best birthday ever.’ She was at school, so I took a cake in and got her a badge. We had a party tea with family round. They played pass the parcel and musical statues. Her nana boon made a beautiful cake. Amelia loved being at the centre of attention (as always!) and loved her presents. She especially loves her new barbi dolls, she has them with her most of the time. 

It was a busy day. But a day with family, with the people who love Amelia the most, as much as me and Craig do. I love that girl so much. It is so hard to believe that the baby i first held is the little girl of now. It’s almost as though the girl has sneaked up on me without me realising – I want to remember every second and yet still I forget sometimes. I forget moments I treasured at thape time. 

Amelia, i know I tell you every day. But I am so proud of who you are. I love you now and I will forever. I don’t always get things right – in fact, it feels like with you I always get it wrong – you are such a complex little girl at times and I struggle to find the right way to parent you. But I love your confidence, te way you will stand up for what you believe and won’t just go with the crowd. They are qualities that will help you in your future.

I love you sweetheart. Xxx

Half a decade…


Half a decade ago my first baby was born. A whole half decade of love; I cannot remember how life was without her. I sometimes look at the time before she was with us, and remember lay ins, hobbies, a tidy house, organisation and – a kind of lostness. Before Amelia I didn’t really know who I was or who I could be. I was scared that I didn’t know how to be a Mum, that I would mess it all up.

And I do mess it up sometimes. I shout when I should stay calm. I get cross where I should laugh. I get stressed at times. I’m human, and I’m still me.

But. I also laugh a lot. I love morning snuggles with little ones on my head, talking random chat. I wake to smiles, to love. I enjoy the company and chatter of my clever, lovely Daughter. I have loved watching her grow from a tiny baby – on her first night with us I didn’t sleep at all but just looked at her all night. And from then I knew I would do anything for her, she captured my heart. And she still captures my heart. I love my girl, and always will.

I don’t know what is in her future. But I do know that I will never ever stop loving my oldest baby. She is funny, kind, loving, stubborn, grumpy at times and clever. She is grown but still naïve yet – she believes that fairies come and eat the fairy cakes that she makes. She believes that I am a fairy who peeps In on her at School each day. She knows that she is loved.

We have had a busy few days. A birthday tea party, seeing the people we love the most in the world. Family that I know support us all, and love my girls as much as I do. Lots of fun, memories made. And a lucky and slightly spoilt little girl who has gone to bed very happy and tired.

Thank you to our families for loving Amelia as much as we do. Thank you for loving us too. We don’t know what we would do without you.



Silent Sunday


Birthday dilemma


My oldest daughter is 4 next month and I’m having a dilemma about what to do. I really hate the ‘usual’ kids birthday parties (the hired hall with bouncy castle, tables of buffet food and lots and lots of kids) for the following reasons:

1. They are expensive. To hire a hall, a bouncy castle, get food and cake costs around £200. That’s for 2 hours. That’s money I don’t really have while on maternity leave.

2. They’re impersonal. It’s not a personalised party and the kids could be a anyone’s party. They are all the same, and that means its not special for my girl.

3. They’re awkward for parents. Especially if its not someone you know well. The children are playing, leaving parents a bit lost/ feeling awkward.

4. You always get at least one crying child. Usually more. And often the child whose party it is as it can all be very overwhelming.

5. It’s not really a celebration between the parents and child. For me, I want to remember and celebrate the birth of my child ( not the pain bit though!)


Having said all that, for my girl a party is special, she would enjoy it and I feel like a bad mum if I don’t have a party for her.

The past 3 birthdays we have done tea parties at home with grand/great grand parents and very few kids. However, it’s busy, messy, and although fun ( I enjoy this more) shes at an age where she would rather have more children for it to be a ‘proper’ party.

I asked on twitter yesterday and I got a few suggestions, such as:

– A pottery party
– A cinema party
– A bowling party
– A teddy bears picnic party

These are all good ideas – I think a pottery party is for an older child, 4 is a bit young to concentrate for long, and I have images of a shop full of broken pottery so maybe this is an idea to save for in 2/3 years time.

A cinema party I love the idea of, but at home not in an actual cinema. However, I would limit numbers to only 3/4 other children as otherwise it is not really going to work. I could make tickets, popcorn, pizza and a couple of shortish, fun films for the children. Does this sound fun?

A bowling party is out – I’ve never taken Amelia bowling and don’t know if she even likes it.

A teddy bears picnic is another good idea, but I’m not sure how I could make this work.

Anyone had a successful home made party? Advice / suggestions wantedneeded!

Thank you 🙂

Two birthday cards


These are two cards that I made for my second cousins 1st birthday. I stuck with stuff I already had, used some leftover papers, and tried to make the colours I used appropriate for a 1 year old. Ones going to be from me, one from my sister. Which do you prefer? I can decide – I like the button flower as that’s something different for me that I haven’t done before, but I kind of think that the overall look of the rabbit card works better.

In other news, my mums operation went well, she’s home now and her card made her cry ( in a good way!) she’s doing well so I feel really relieved.