Tag Archives: Love

Six…

Amelia was 6 on Tuesday. I kept thinking about it all day – the day 6 whole years ago when she was born. The newness of the experience, the strangeness of it. The pain, that you know is coming but can never prepare for. The amazement of holding my baby in my arms for the first time. The relief at her being healthy. The relief of the pain ending. I said to Craig when we were alone (the first thing I said to him!) that I am never going through it again. I did, of course, but at the time I didn’t even know how I had got through it.

The first 6 days were a bubble. We spent them in the maternity home, and it was like being there protected us from reality. I was desperate to leave, and yet needed the safety and security of having people there to advice, help and reassure. Like the night I spent up with Amelia all night, and the nurse popped in and said I was doing a fantastic job. 

I know it’s all a cliche, but I don’t know how time has moved so fast. 6 years ago I had a tiny baby. Now I have a little girl. A girl who is independent, stubborn, clever. Who talks about the sun being made of gas, and the rings of Saturn being made of ice and rock (she loves planets). A girl who plays barbi’s, but gets ‘nervous’ if we are watching her play – she likes to play them on her own. A girl who will argue forever when she thinks she is right, who takes everything literally. Who got 10/10 today in her spelling test. A girl who is unique, and wonderful.

Amelia said she had the ‘best birthday ever.’ She was at school, so I took a cake in and got her a badge. We had a party tea with family round. They played pass the parcel and musical statues. Her nana boon made a beautiful cake. Amelia loved being at the centre of attention (as always!) and loved her presents. She especially loves her new barbi dolls, she has them with her most of the time. 

It was a busy day. But a day with family, with the people who love Amelia the most, as much as me and Craig do. I love that girl so much. It is so hard to believe that the baby i first held is the little girl of now. It’s almost as though the girl has sneaked up on me without me realising – I want to remember every second and yet still I forget sometimes. I forget moments I treasured at thape time. 

Amelia, i know I tell you every day. But I am so proud of who you are. I love you now and I will forever. I don’t always get things right – in fact, it feels like with you I always get it wrong – you are such a complex little girl at times and I struggle to find the right way to parent you. But I love your confidence, te way you will stand up for what you believe and won’t just go with the crowd. They are qualities that will help you in your future.

I love you sweetheart. Xxx



The first ‘proper’ bike ride…

Amelia is good at a lot of things. She’s bright and learning mostly comes easily to her. However, something that she’s never grasped before is riding a bike. She’s had her current bike for about 2 years now, but we decided not to get her an updated one as she just didn’t know how to use this one. She either couldn’t do the handles, even after being explained how to steer a million times. And she didn’t understand the pedals. And doing both was just too much to ask of her until now. 

Now though, she’s got it, in her own time and in her own way. In the past few weeks she’s been practising in the garden, and finally riding it properly. With stabilisers, granted, but just seeing her on her bike is something I have been very proud of her for. 



We went out on it today. For the first time in a long time. We only went to my nanas – a ten minute walk if I have the kids with me. It took half an hour on their bikes (and was hard work too I must admit!) Amelia’s stabilisers kept getting her stuck, and steering Rosie is hard work. But we got there, and Amelia did great.

She was proud of herself for doing it. She rode her bike all the way to my nanas house, and steered and pedalled it. And because it’s something that hasn’t come easily to her I’m proud of her – for keeping practising, for not giving up, and just for being her. 

Well done little one. Now she’s added a purple bike to her birthday / Christmas list. Better start saving some pennies!

I’m adding this post to the ordinary moments linky run by Mummydaddyme – I haven’t joined in for a while but this is an ordinary moment of the future – one I’ve been waiting a while to get to 🙂 

Xxx

Namesakes…

When I was expecting Rosie, I really struggled with finding a name for her. Nothing seemed to fit, or seemed right. I must have gone through every name in the history of the world. It wasn’t until about a week before she was born that I decided.

Rosie Eloise. 

I chose it because it has meaning. Rosie is my nanas name (well, Rose, but we call her nana Rosie). It’s also my sisters middle name. And Elouise is a tribute to my other sisters middle name.

I chose this because I wanted her name to have meaning. And because my nana (and my sisters, but that’s not for this post!) is such a strong, loving, generous and unique person. She is funny – she has her quirks and once formed her opinions rarely change – once decided, she sets things into stone to remain that way. She’s an inspiration to me, and the centre of the family. 



I’m glad I chose it for my littlest girl. It suits her. She is placid but stubborn, brave but timid, easy going but with a temper when it suits her. She is a girl of opposites, and I see a lot of my nanas personality in hers. She is loving and loved, and quietly sets out to achieve whatever it is that she has set her mind on. Just like nana Rosie. 

My nana has a close bond with both my girls. But she especially loves babies – she dotes on them, and thinks each baby that comes along is the most clever / cute / forward baby there is. She has a close bond to my Rosie, and likes that she is named after her. 



I love my nana Rosie, and am grateful for the memories I have of her when I was growing up, and the memories I have and will create of her with my girls. I’m grateful that she knows and loves them and they know and love her. And I just wanted to capture just one day – an ordinary visit where I just took a few pictures of nana and Rosie together. 



Xxx

My weekend post #4

First of all, my random but lovely tulips – £2 from aldi and they look beautiful (in my homemade pottery vase / popcorn tub):



I’m not good at remembering to blog. But I do love looking back at our ordinary lives and thinking about how much I love family life, the little things and our time together. It flies by, but is so important to capture.

This is weekend was a bit extra special. Craig has Friday and Saturday off work, which is a huge rarity. On Friday he made good progress with our dining room project, bricking above the woodburner and sanding the mantle. It’s getting closer to being a lovely room, but is too far away to get too excited by either. One day I will be able to show it off. This is what it’s like so far:



 We all picked Amelia up together and went for a walk nearby – Amelia was  little grumpy and Rosie had just woken up, but it blew away some cobwebs at least. Then we came home and had pizza. We also watched the muppet Christmas carol for film night – Amelia’s choice, which is a film I love. 

 On Saturday morning I went to town with Amelia where she insisted that she wanted jelly shoes and nothing else for summer. I also treated her to new books – the magic faraway tree and the adventures of the wishing  chair. For after we have finished the famous five book that we are reading at the moment. We also went to the cafe where I treated Amelia to a cake. We also laughed a lot at our reflections on the car – it did what those mirrors can do and made us look really short and fat. 



 In the afternoon I had an afternoon out – it was my friends 30th and we went for afternoon tea as a surprise – it was my first one and I really enjoyed it – the food in some ways  could have been a bit better, but it was a nice afternoon out. Kate, I know you read this, so sorry for the photos – I already know you won’t like them. And thank you for being my friend over the past 13 years – we might not see each other all the time, but when we do I always enjoy our catch ups. 





 Today has been rubbish. I woke up being sick in the night and today has been written off – I haven’t been sick but I’ve felt it all day, – just been laid on the sofa feeling sorry for myself. And haven’t eaten anything except half a round of toast. I’m hoping it clears tomorrow.

what has been great about today has been watching my girls. They are so sweet together – they giggle at each other a lot, and Rosie copies everything Amelia does, so when A jumps so does Rosie, and when A says something Rosie copies it. They have a lovely and  close bond which I always wanted them to have, and it makes me proud.

and I came to bed to find Amelia asleep in my bed like this, which can only ever make me smile. 



 xxx

Weekend post 3..

This weekend I have made an effort with photos and capturing our weekend. They mean so much to me – now that Amelia is at school full time we have to fit everything into two days, which go far too fast!

We have fallen into a routine of having Saturday breakfast – something different to the rest of the week. This Saturday it was these:



Then we did some painting – our daffodils are a work in progress, but we also painted Easter eggs and the Easter bunny (who is obviously a girl, as if you didn’t know!). we haven’t done painting for ages and we enjoyed it. Rosie especially surprised me – she was quite happy with her paintbrush and paper, experimenting with colour. She’s growing up faster than I’m ready to accept I think.



Then I cleaned up – it has to be done! And I bribed gave Amelia pocket money for hoovering the rug and polishing. The photos of her make me feel that she’s so grown up now – she is (in my eyes at least) beautiful, and is learning so much about the world every day. 



Ohh, and I made rice pudding in the slow cooker – pudding rice, milk and cinammon – slow cooked for about 5 hours, it turned out well, and lasted us for 2 days as pudding –  will make it again for definite 🙂

Today I wanted to have some time with my biggest girl. So we decided to take a trip to the museum (the fishing heritage centre locally). It was really interesting actually – I really enjoyed taking a trip on one of the old working trawls, guided by one of the fishermen. 



Amelia was scared of the actual museum though, which was botH sweet and frustrating. She thought it was like night at the museum and that the figures were going to come to life. We had to go and ‘check’ with the lovely girl on reception in the end. She did gradually start to enjoy it though, we just took it slowly and went back to some of the rooms she was worried by initially. I’ve added some photos below – please excuse her outfit, she chose it herself. 





We had lunch in a cafe, popped to see my sister and then came home to a huge hug from my littlest one – she just kept saying ‘mama’ over and over and it was lovely – small moments like that make me realise that they do love me. 





My weekend ended with more rice pudding and preparing packed lunch for tomorrow. For once I have been organised with it!





Apologies for all the photos, but since I took them I wanted to share them too 🙂 I hope your weekend was just as good xxx

My weekend diary…

I love the weekend. I have to admit that I live for quiet relaxed days, pottering about with my girls and just appreciating life and the little things that make me happy.

This weekend has been a good one. Friday started well – from picking Amelia up we went straight to my friends and watched a film (barbie, although the girls got bored and went off to play!) had hotdogs and cookies and chatted. The babies are really cute together too – Rosie strokes Loic and gave him lots of hugs. And at one point they stood with her arm around him watching the fish tank. 

On Saturday I wanted a quiet day. I spent the morning cleaning this:



When my upstairs was respectable again, we all had lunch with my Dad – he made a lovely bacon salad with some jacket potatoes – he is a good cook, both my parents are. It was nice, it is my second home as we spend so much time there!

After that we came back home and spent the afternoon in the garden – my lovely sister and her future husband came and ended up helping too. Amelia made us all ‘pack up’ as gardening makes you hungry apparently – she made all sorts quite happily and put thought into it. And later on Rosie enjoyed playing with pots and mud:



Ignore the fuzzy photos, they were taken on my iPhone 🙂

We had haddock for tea and the girls loved playing with Craig when he got home – they love him loads and I love watching them play. 

Then today I went to the gym – I have to admit I was grumpy when I went – I felt tired still and didn’t want to go. But I did and I’m glad I did, I felt better the rest of the day. 

In the afternoon I took the girls for a walk in the very muddy woods with my sisters:





We came home full of mud, Rosie had her nap and we watched tv and I made roast gammon with roasted potatoes and veg for dinner – I didn’t take any pictures (sorry!) but it was lovely.

And now – now my girls are sleeping out as their nannie has them tomorrow while we work – so I’m sitting wishing I didn’t go back to work tomorrow, but excited about having more than 15 minutes to get up and ready in the morning.

Xxxxx

A happy half term.

It may sound silly to say, but I really have found it harder than I would have thought having Amelia at full time school since September. It makes time go so much quicker, with very little time for family fun. I really miss her – I miss crafts, educational projects and daytrips out which I took for granted before.

But it was half term last week – the perfect chance to fit in lots of fun 🙂 I made a timetable – I drew it, put the days and put 2 activities each day, with lunch I between. In the morning it was a going out activity generally, and in the afternoon was something just for Amelia while Rosie napped. Some of the things we did were:

– we made a den.
– bake a pie for tea.
– lots and lots of drawing and colouring.
– reading books.
– I brought the mattress downstairs, put cushions around it and they had a trampoline for the day.
– we went to McDonald’s.
– we went to a ‘secret cafe’ (BHS!) in town after getting Rosie some new shoes. Amelia had £3 to spend and chose some hair clips – she offered me the money for Rosie’s shoes though 🙂
– we visited the library.
– we went for a walk.
– we watched a film.
– swimming.
– we went to visit friends.

We also (this was not on my list!) went to the circus, me, Amelia and my Mum. It was really good -we saw planet circus, which was stunts, including a motorbike kind from britains got talent – although we didn’t know that at the time! I really enjoyed it, and so did Amelia. Thank you Mum 🙂

We had a lot of fun this half term. I feel like we did a lot,many that’s remembering that I was sick 1.5 days and worked 1.5 days. We fitted a lot in 🙂

And something sweet (and funny) – we did the food shop one day, and Amelia really wanted to use her ‘pennies’ to buy the cereals – I said t save it, and she replied ‘but Mum, I only want to waste my money so that you don’t have to waste yours.’ I thought it was sweet and very thoughtful, bless her. And no, I didn’t let her pay for the cereals! She did lend me £1 for the trolley though 🙂

I love my girls. When they are grown, these are the times I will miss more than any others.

Xxx

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Snow….

I love snow. I say I hate it, but really I love it. I don’t like being out in the snow, and I am paranoid about slipping over. But I love watching the snow falling – it’s just a little bit magical -just the slowness of the way it falls, and the way it swirls in the wind. I could watch snow all day.

I think it helps that we don’t have it often. For me, snow means days at home, the fire on, films, and red noses when we do venture outside.

My girls love snow too it turns out (what child doesn’t?) Amelia has been really excited about it – she likes touching it, and enjoyed throwing snowballs the other day with Craig. Rosie is like me – she loves watching it fall, and stands at the window watching and laughing at it. She isn’t so keen on being out in it, but she is saying ‘snow’ and is enjoying it.

I shouldn’t say it, but I really would like to wake up in the morning to thick snow, meaning snowmen, snowballs and hot chocolate 🙂 I want more than a sprinkle – although I may live to regret saying that 🙂

Xxxx

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My children…

A random update on my girls:

Amelia,
You are 5 now. You said the other day that you cannot wait to be six (in 10 months!). I want to keep you just as you are now, I am happy for you to tke your time at five. Everything is ‘absolutely’ – you are ‘absolutely’ hungry, ‘absolutely’ excited etc. you love craft – like earlier on you found a random box and disappeared I to your bedroom to make something. You came out with it all pretty – tissue paper stuck on with smiley fact stickers. You love being ‘crafty’ and I try to leave you to it now, as I think it’s good that you work out what you want to do and achieve it.
And you are well and truly into the poo jokes stage. The other day in the car on the way home, everything was ‘poo’ related – poo car, poo sky, poo planet etc – you get the idea. You find it all so funny, and don’t get why I ask you not to use these jokes all of the time. It drives me a bit nuts but makes me smile at the same time.
And you are so very clever. You are writing and reading at school. You have moved to the higher maths group, and keep getting good notes home. And you have just started after school yoga, which you are really enjoying.
You live films. We have film night each Friday – a now set in stone tradition – with a slightly different tea – pizza, or curry, or hot dogs, and usually some popcorn or sweets. And we watch a film all together, technology is banned. It is a special night of the week and I look forward to it as much as you. And I think that your favourite part is dancing to the credits at the end of each film.
You are a truly special little girl, and I am very proud of you. We argue, you shout a lot, are grumpy and a bit of a madam, but you love to be funny, are clevel, loving and a fantastic big sister. You really do look out for Rosie and love cuddles, kisses and playing with her.

Rosie,
My 20 month little monkey. You are so determined – you know exactly what you want all of the time. Only you can’t quite tell us what you want. You know words – yessss and no, and juice, and shoes (they sound the same!) and hello. You are not talking like your big sister was, you are taking your time more. But you still do plenty of ‘chatting’ – all of which I don’t understand a word of.
You love your grandad Billy. You love all of us, but he has a bit of a special place in your heart – if he comes you don’t like him leaving without you, and you do love your special time with him.
You have a sweet tooth. You love cake (you know that word too!) and turn your head at my attempts to keep you healthy – you won’t eat vegetables much, and slough you eat well, I do have to sneak veggies down you a bit. You love fruit though, and breakfast.
You joined in with film night with us last week – snuggled up next to Amelia on the sofa in the blanket watching tinker bell. You loved it, you give me such a huge smile and love it.
You are a happy little thing most of the time; huge smiles, giggles and I enjoy your company. I love our Thursdays and Fridays just me and you when I’m not at work – we tend to have quiet days just being together.
I love you so much little girl xxx

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Half a decade…

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Half a decade ago my first baby was born. A whole half decade of love; I cannot remember how life was without her. I sometimes look at the time before she was with us, and remember lay ins, hobbies, a tidy house, organisation and – a kind of lostness. Before Amelia I didn’t really know who I was or who I could be. I was scared that I didn’t know how to be a Mum, that I would mess it all up.

And I do mess it up sometimes. I shout when I should stay calm. I get cross where I should laugh. I get stressed at times. I’m human, and I’m still me.

But. I also laugh a lot. I love morning snuggles with little ones on my head, talking random chat. I wake to smiles, to love. I enjoy the company and chatter of my clever, lovely Daughter. I have loved watching her grow from a tiny baby – on her first night with us I didn’t sleep at all but just looked at her all night. And from then I knew I would do anything for her, she captured my heart. And she still captures my heart. I love my girl, and always will.

I don’t know what is in her future. But I do know that I will never ever stop loving my oldest baby. She is funny, kind, loving, stubborn, grumpy at times and clever. She is grown but still naïve yet – she believes that fairies come and eat the fairy cakes that she makes. She believes that I am a fairy who peeps In on her at School each day. She knows that she is loved.

We have had a busy few days. A birthday tea party, seeing the people we love the most in the world. Family that I know support us all, and love my girls as much as I do. Lots of fun, memories made. And a lucky and slightly spoilt little girl who has gone to bed very happy and tired.

Thank you to our families for loving Amelia as much as we do. Thank you for loving us too. We don’t know what we would do without you.

xx

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